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BLOG OF A COWBOY
More of a Gonzo (ex) Cowboy really.
Articles Posted: 28; Links Seeded: 14
Member Since: 8/2008Last Seen: 11/17/2009
Member Since: 8/2008Last Seen: 11/17/2009
52 Comments
PrintThe Controversial New RANT Form is HERE
News Type: Opinion — Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:11 PM EDT
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(Circle one option only from each parenthetical bracket.)
I am a (Republican, Democrat, Steven Colbert).
I am (angry, irate, psychotically broken).
I attribute my joyless worldview to extremist (Republicans, Liberals) and (The Liberal New York Times Media, The Republican Fox-News Media, that Jon Stewart prick).
You people all need to (wake-up, turn the channel, take English 101 at community college)!
For sure, if you disagree with my (opinion, rant, 10,000 word manifesto) then you are a (fag-traitor, godless-miscreant, zealot-bastard) and, you should be (jailed, beaten, taxed) without benefit of a (fair trial, mortgage bailout).
The world is full of problems that I can't solve, because I am not actually a (economist, college graduate, trustee here at the prison). I am however a naturally gifted analyst - despite the fact that I only get world news from (Fox, New York Times, Al Jazeera).
I am (particularly gifted, the Chosen One, delusional) when it comes to assessing who else is to blame for my manic joylessness. Further, I genuinely believe that I can become as popular as ( George Washington, Jesus, that Stewart prick) just by (writing un-edited 10,000 word manifestos, writing obsessed incendiary hate-blogs, a mall massacre).
There is just no (joy, hope, chance of getting laid) in my world. This (crisis, disaster, apocalyptic orgy of doom) is clearly and obviously the fault of (George W. Bush, Michelle Obama, The Illuminati). I think that (real Americans, true patriots, Steven Colbert) are justified in fighting this (tyranny, socialism, Mossad conspiracy) using (full-auto war rifles, barrels of ANFO, gerrymandered re-districting).
We will only enjoy (liberty, lower taxes, getting some hootchi-kootchie) after we restore my beloved country to the former greatness of the sentimental past, as captured by such films as (The Sons of Katie Elder, Saving Private Ryan, Star Wars IV –A New Hope).
In the mean time, we have been historically (short-johned, gin-poled, electric banjo-pronged) by the inability of (Congress, ) to provide ethical, non-partisan leadership in these (dark times, strange days, early weeks of the revolution). Yes, until (congress, ) can provide some selfless political sacrifice I am keeping my (gun loaded, bunker stocked, money in oil stocks).
If you are not (with us, against us, half-in-the-bag by noon) then you are obviously (with us, against us, half-in-the-bag by noon) and you really need to WAKE UP.
Ride for the High Country
59 Votes- Enjoy this article? Help vote it up the 'Vine.
Published to:
- Blog of A Cowboy's Column, All of Newsvine
- Groups: Newsviners' Picks
- Regions: Salt Lake City
- Public Discussion (52)
- Newsviners' Picks
What's this?
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This visualization below allows you to see the impact that each user
has on the current conversation.
The top row contains the group of users who have had the most impact, the 2nd
row the group of users who have had the 2nd most impact (et cetera).
Users with similar impact are grouped together, and the average score of the group
is shown to the left of the group. The author of the article is also shown on the
left, in their corresponding group.
Each user's score is based on the number of comments the user has made plus the
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one another, so while their absolute value is not particularly important, their
relative difference does indicate a larger difference in impact on the conversation.
55
24
6.8
{"commentId":6083700,"authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
Funny.....but frighteningly close to reality.
{"commentId":6083700,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
- 18 votes
#1 - Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:27 PM EDT{"commentId":6089367,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
should i use pen or pencil? doesn't seem to mark well on my monitor.
{"commentId":6089367,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
- 17 votes
{"commentId":6089584,"authorDomain":"Brad-Leclerc"}
should i use pen or pencil? doesn't seem to mark well on my monitor.
Magic marker?
{"commentId":6089584,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Brad-Leclerc"}
- 9 votes
{"commentId":6089630,"authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
'China Marker'?
unless it then causes you to start ranting about the state of the trade imbalance.
{"commentId":6089630,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
- 8 votes
{"commentId":6089657,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
I found liquid paper works well - just hope it comes off when I switch to other pages.
Uh oh!
:)
{"commentId":6089657,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
- 7 votes
{"commentId":6089806,"authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
Put the 'White-Out' on your glasses, then with a tilt of the head all will be right with the world again. :)
{"commentId":6089806,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"quinnwr"}
- 7 votes
{"commentId":6093148,"authorDomain":"adaservices"}
Not China markers, they are probably full of lead.
Mind if I send your (Rant, speach, or uneducated ideas) to EVERY news station in America. Maybe that might wake us up to what we are doing to ourselves in this country,
{"commentId":6093148,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"adaservices"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":6093403,"authorDomain":"ghall1950"}
The Illuminati did it all!
{"commentId":6093403,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"ghall1950"}
- 2 votes
{"commentId":6083783,"authorDomain":"ftmackinc"}
Now that...
That is brilliant...lol
Truly great writing and please accept from one viner to another a "Mark Twain atta boy" for original humor.
Exquisite.
{"commentId":6083783,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"ftmackinc"}
- 16 votes
#2 - Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:34 PM EDT{"commentId":6083891,"authorDomain":"carloz"}
Thanks BOAG! I think I've already seen a post today that used your template.
{"commentId":6083891,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"carloz"}
- 17 votes
#3 - Sat Mar 21, 2009 11:43 PM EDT{"commentId":6084625,"authorDomain":"me2berry2000"}
Yep Carloz you are right his template is in heavy rotation.
{"commentId":6084625,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"me2berry2000"}
- 12 votes
#4 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:47 AM EDT{"commentId":6084661,"authorDomain":"zstray1"}
roflmao....sad but so dang true....Spose the high country will get crowded?..folks back home say not yet..jist waitin fer some of us get our bedrolls back there..so they can drop a tree er two and few boulders on the road..
{"commentId":6084661,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"zstray1"}
- 8 votes
#5 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:50 AM EDT{"commentId":6085086,"authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
Obviously you are (against me, with me, for me) a person who means what he (Fox news, CNN, CBC, Cartoon Network), Where was I? Oh Yeah (take out the garbage, do the dishes, shut up).I like the way you set up (clean the cupboards, do the kitty litter) your post. Where did you come up with the idea?
{"commentId":6085086,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"kimmy123"}
- 7 votes
#6 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 1:45 AM EDT{"commentId":6085746,"authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
(angry, irate, psychotically broken)
That was definitely a good rant.
You people all need to (wake-up, turn the channel, take English 101 at community college)!
Me too.
For sure, if you disagree with my (opinion, rant, 10,000 word manifesto) than you are a (fag-traitor, godless-miscreant, zealot-bastard) and, you should be (jailed, beaten, taxed) without benefit of a (fair trial, mortgage bailout).
The word is then. Hope we see you there.(take English 101)(lol)
{"commentId":6085746,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
- 6 votes
#7 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 3:56 AM EDT{"commentId":6090049,"authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
Amazing to see how some do not follow ,and/or, see the obvious. My punctuation is...well..lacking at the higher levels. : )
Are you `pinning`, this on your secretary?(^^)
{"commentId":6090049,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":6094911,"authorDomain":"beagles4me"}
Andrew Jackson said "never trust a man who can't spell a word more than one way".(attributed)
{"commentId":6094911,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"beagles4me"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":6095079,"authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
".(attributed)
Attributing this to your secretary?
{"commentId":6095079,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":6102096,"authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
Amazing to see how some do not follow ,and/or, see the obvious
Doh! Many levels to that...leading back to me.(for those who recall the events../CSI?) hmmm
Laughing with me I hope Blog of A Cowboy
{"commentId":6102096,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jbdaad"}
{"commentId":6085965,"authorDomain":"ronco104"}
gee, i just don't know what to say, you said it all...damn you...DAMN YOU, ALL TO HELL (use your best charlton heston, here, folks) !!!
luv,
ron
{"commentId":6085965,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"ronco104"}
- 9 votes
#8 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 5:30 AM EDT{"commentId":6086074,"authorDomain":"darkdingo"}
Dear Cowboy-
I'm having a little difficulty with the new form, there are some instances where all the choices apply, e.g.: I attribute my joyless worldview to extremist (Republicans, Liberals) and (The Liberal New York Times Media, The Republican Fox-News Media, that Jon Stewart prick)... or For sure, if you disagree with my (opinion, rant, 10,000 word manifesto) than you are a (fag-traitor, godless-miscreant, zealot-bastard) and, you should be (jailed, beaten, taxed) without benefit of a (fair trial, mortgage bailout). While at other times, none of the choices apply, e.g.: I am a (Republican, Democrat, Steven Colbert).
Then there is the problem where any of the terms may apply depending on the day (time of day, or if I have been discussing almost any political or religious aspect with one of my parents or my 20 year old son), e.g.: I am (angry, irate, psychotically broken). Of course there are also options where 2 or 3, but not all the choices fit, e.g.: I am (particularly gifted, the Chosen One, delusional) when it comes to assessing who else is to blame for my manic joylessness.-- in this case, obviously I am not "the Chosen One".
Fortunately, there are sections where the answers are a bit easier, but I need to know if I can choose more than one answer and/or write in my answer in the margins if the choices offered do not suffice.
Thank you for your prompt attention on this matter.
--Uncle Nick
{"commentId":6086074,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"darkdingo"}
- 8 votes
#9 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:17 AM EDT{"commentId":6089581,"authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
I am sooooo busted. I Damn Thee Cowboy!
Seriously, Uncle Nick is right...you CAN answer All of the Above to many of those statements!
I think I'd better think it out again.
{"commentId":6089581,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":6090593,"authorDomain":"Buzzman1313"}
where do I get a form for independent,semi- illiterates??community college? starbucks?liquor store?
{"commentId":6090593,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Buzzman1313"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":6093211,"authorDomain":"adaservices"}
where do I get a form for independent,semi- illiterates??community college? starbucks?liquor store?
Liquor store, because the more brain dead we are, the easier it is to turn us against each other.
{"commentId":6093211,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"adaservices"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":6093595,"authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
Yeah...I heard something about that - Supplemental form 38-1-C4 for Independent Voters.
The real work will be coming up with yet another supplemental form for Canadians, eh? That one mentions Hosers, snow and beer as well as the Great White North. It's rather a daunting challenge, oui?
{"commentId":6093595,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":6093639,"authorDomain":"adaservices"}
ROFLMAO That was good. I lived in Canada for 4 years and that pretty much summs it up. lol
{"commentId":6093639,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"adaservices"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":6098306,"authorDomain":"unicorn-lady1"}
Liquor store, because the more brain dead we are, the easier it is to turn us against each other.
And in a moment of friviloty, now truer words could be spoken.
Fantastic Article! [Sorry my posting box has gone into a state of anarchy and everything is printing weird. Now I could start over ... but what fun is that --- I can't wait to see how the formatting on this posts! ... Now if it comes out normal....you are all gonna think I am nuts; I'll chance it! :)
This should be required reading for all new viners!
{"commentId":6098306,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"unicorn-lady1"}
- 6 votes
{"commentId":6099245,"authorDomain":"darkdingo"}
Independent voters have to use a supplemental form...
damn, now I'll have to use white-out all over my screen and start all over again!
{"commentId":6099245,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"darkdingo"}
- 5 votes
{"commentId":6086325,"authorDomain":"ianfwalter"}
Hey listen, former blog cowboy guy, You can't get away with this. This is pure plagiarism, bub. You've obviously stolen this from me us somebody. You are a perfect illustration of exactly what's wrong with this country planet espresso machine.
{"commentId":6086325,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"ianfwalter"}
- 10 votes
#10 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:34 AM EDT{"commentId":6087141,"authorDomain":"beagles4me"}
Loved the template idea, half in the bag by noon seems to fit a lot of ranters.
But there is one I would like to add (I hate me, you, us and them, my wife, the nieghbors, their dog, cats, Barbara Striesand and the whole world).
{"commentId":6087141,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"beagles4me"}
- 11 votes
#11 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 9:37 AM EDT{"commentId":6087586,"authorDomain":"TheObserver1"}
You need a few (all of the above).
{"commentId":6087586,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"TheObserver1"}
- 7 votes
#12 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:19 AM EDT{"commentId":6089725,"authorDomain":"electorama"}
{"commentId":6088008,"authorDomain":"membersonly"}
This is funny. The only problem I have with it is:
The world is full of problems that I can’t solve, because I am not actually a (economist, college graduate, trustee here at the prison)
None of the economists, etc are really good at solving problems, either.
{"commentId":6088008,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"membersonly"}
- 7 votes
#13 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 10:55 AM EDT{"commentId":6093611,"authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
Damned filthy apes!
{"commentId":6093611,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"gaian2000"}
- 3 votes
{"commentId":6088838,"authorDomain":"Karri-M"}
Incredible blog! Love how you see the world!
{"commentId":6088838,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Karri-M"}
- 5 votes
#14 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 11:56 AM EDT{"commentId":6088958,"authorDomain":"jsbach"}
Whoosh!!!! Right over my head!
{"commentId":6088958,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jsbach"}
- 5 votes
#15 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:05 PM EDT{"commentId":6089390,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
This is quite clever. I thought my playboy letter writing template was good but this is spot on. Js, you just circlle the choices and you have a rant. Think mad-libs for newsviners.
clipped to my column and newsviner's picks.
{"commentId":6089390,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
- 9 votes
#16 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:32 PM EDT{"commentId":6089596,"authorDomain":"Brad-Leclerc"}
Great stuff. Funny and useful! :)
{"commentId":6089596,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Brad-Leclerc"}
- 6 votes
#17 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:46 PM EDT{"commentId":6090826,"authorDomain":"debrabsams"}
I can't comment because......because......because......LOL.... You just made my morning.
{"commentId":6090826,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"debrabsams"}
- 6 votes
#18 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 2:09 PM EDT{"commentId":6093669,"authorDomain":"Jewelibob"}
Man I haven't laughed that hard in a long time! Especially love the mention of Stephen Colbert for he is a real American and a true patriot.
{"commentId":6093669,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Jewelibob"}
- 5 votes
#19 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 5:53 PM EDT{"commentId":6093848,"authorDomain":"jrobnorth1"}
I think we're in danger here of , "that Stewart prick", becoming as household a term as
" Bucky F ing Dent" !
{"commentId":6093848,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"jrobnorth1"}
- 2 votes
#20 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:06 PM EDT{"commentId":6094484,"authorDomain":"agboola-2"}
mad libs for news vine . . . awesome :)
{"commentId":6094484,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"agboola-2"}
- 4 votes
#21 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 6:59 PM EDT{"commentId":6096880,"authorDomain":"sbutki"}
The "mad libs for newsvine" phrase first surfaced when I showed up at the Vinemeet in Ohio with laryngitis or something of that type. Mykola marveled that while he could only make out 40 percent of what I was saying my passion was impressive. I then suggested we turn it into Newsvine mad-libs.
As in Newsvine caused ------ to my life and now my baby's first words are -----
{"commentId":6096880,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"sbutki"}
- 4 votes
{"commentId":6094938,"authorDomain":"mike-kovanda"}
Not a Fag but I might be a traitor,just can't see the sense in war. Totally capitalistic entrepreneurial profit loving American till the 401k went the way of the Cubs in post season. Get my news from Fox but sometime its hard to believe,something is wrong with Hannity I think. The only movie I watch is Apocalypse Now but I was told that it is a anti war film and I am trying to become a Patriot again. I may have been "Gin Poled" by a Congressman but I not sure what that means. I will be stayin "half in the bag" till my A.IG. bonus shows up.
{"commentId":6094938,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"mike-kovanda"}
- 2 votes
#22 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 7:37 PM EDT{"commentId":6095593,"authorDomain":"sushicat"}
really creative,fun article/rant.
{"commentId":6095593,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"sushicat"}
- 3 votes
#23 - Sun Mar 22, 2009 8:25 PM EDT{"commentId":6101915,"authorDomain":"bgates43"}
Blog of a Cowboy:
Excellent!!!! I'm glad your calling out of mike for his lynching comment led me to this. Great offering!
{"commentId":6101915,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"bgates43"}
- 1 vote
#24 - Mon Mar 23, 2009 10:54 AM EDT{"commentId":6107395,"authorDomain":"michael-65"}
reads like a rant to me- And what is this Colbert stuff, are you gay-?
{"commentId":6107395,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"michael-65"}
#25 - Mon Mar 23, 2009 3:44 PM EDT{"commentId":6120483,"authorDomain":"Jewelibob"}
Insulting the great Stephen Colbert!?? That's treason! Any requests for your last meal???
{"commentId":6120483,"threadId":"534335","contentId":"2578670","authorDomain":"Jewelibob"}
- 6 votes
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